I'll Be
by Sefie Lynne tilmitt
Summary: Squall Leonhart is cold, icy, and uncaring... but also, deep down, afraid. When he hated the world, what good can happen? He meets the girl of his dreams, only to lose her to fate... What can he do to win his true love back? (written also by XIFA)
1. Default Chapter

_(a/n: this is also by XIFA! XIFA and I wrote this together. So go review her stories! Please? Oh, yeah, I don't own FF8 or Square enix! Yeah! Plz Read/Review)_

_Chapter 1_

_               I was wandering along alone... it seemed to be an endless sea of nothing. It was eerie. Prickled shot up and down my spine. Alone. That wasn't unusual. Of course not. I was Squall Leonhart, without friends, the antisocial and outcast. I was Squall, the 19 year old mercenary with a wall of ice three feet thick on every side. But that was okay. That's how I liked it. I reached out to find something. Anything. I needed something to cling to in the creepy void of oblivion._

_               A strange lady entered the void.  She looked somewhat similar to one of my classmates, Selphie Tilmitt.  She was dressed in all black, had hair every color of the rainbow, and probably wasn't too much taller than 4'11''.  She floated just out of reach, her piercing stare kind of eerie._

_"Who are you?" I demanded, and then added, "And where are we?"_

_"Where are we?  Well, that's an interesting question.  There's nothing here, nothing at all.  Inky, depressing, freezin' cold darkness.  And we're the only two here, so we're obviously in someone's repressed memory section of their mind.  So let's just decide who's colder or darker...me or you?"_

_"I have no intentions of answering that. Just how do I get back?"_

_"Oh, you'll get back you selfish little kid.  We've got your entire life ahead of us to figure out my questions, so I'd suggest you get answering!  I'm older and I'm in charge here..."_

_"Bring it, if you think you're so tough." I drew my gunblade._

_"It's impolite to fight a lady," the girl said with a smile.  "You're a funny one, that's for sure.  Are you like this to every nice girl you meet?"_

_"It doesn't matter to me; male, female, you're all the same." I turned away from her._

_"But is -everybody- all the same?" she walked over to me, placing a freezing cold hand on my shoulder.  "Look, I'm here because I'm kind of worried about you and everyone that's gotta put up with you..."_

_"It's not my fault they have to put up with me. If I had my way, I'd be alone. I might even be dead, as long as I don't have to live how I'm living now."_

_"Well, don't worry, kid, because the way you're living now?  That's all about to change," the lady smiled promisingly._

_"I don't want it to change. I don't want to get hurt! That's why I'm like I am! Because all that happens when you're not alone is hurt, anger, pain, regret, emotions that will scar you and the scars you will take you your grave. Some things just can't be changed. This is one of them."_

_"If your mother could see you now..." she shook her head.  "Maybe it's best that she doesn't.  Look, what's hurting you more now...the 'protection' that's hurting you or the pain that might not even come as bad as you're worrying about it?  I just wanted to check in on you again...make sure you were okay...I also think you'd best loosen up before you ever go to visit her.  I wouldn't want her thinking that you've been miserable like this all your life."_

_"What mother? She's either dead or she dumped me her at Garden. Why would I want to see her?"_

_"Shut up you idiot!  Just shut up!  You don't know anything about anything!"  She looked seconds away from slapping me.  "You know nothing about your mother!  She wasn't the one who dumped you anywhere!  And if she was DEAD, she'd be here with me, now wouldn't she?  I think you'd best close it right now before I slap the living--...whoa, I didn't almost say that...anyways, you'd best shut up before I give you what you really deserve!"_

_I glared at her. "Just leave me alone. Please, just go away..." I scowled and turned away, hoping she wouldn't see how much the comment had stung and raised an odd sort of fury in me._

_"Come over here and talk to me.  Look at me when I'm talking to you!  ...gosh, I've always wanted to do this," she laughed a little.  "I never got to yell at my kids," she said, a bit sorrowfully.  "Anyways, get over here; I'm not done with you."_

_"What do you want?" I turned around, feeling an icy fire well up inside. _

_"Your mother...your mother still loves you very much, Squall," she said seriously.  "I'm pretty sure your father does too, even though I never met him.  They weren't able to find you after everything happened, and that's mostly my fault...but I can't connect with them to tell them where you're at.  And I'm not even sure where they're at anymore; otherwise I'd send you to them.  But I'm sure you'll meet up again, someday.  I just want you to know that she loves you.  Please don't act like this towards her if you ever meet her," she said.  "On a totally different subject, I can't say much about this one, but I just want to tell you to give new things a chance, mkay?"_

_"Whatever."_

_               A strange feeling of cold darkness surrounded me, kind of like demi 3 or something to that extent.  The lady looked really miffed now, and was holding out her hands, so I guessed she was the one attacking me._

_"If only this hurt your self-centered arse in the real world!  I hope someone kicks you so hard that you hit the moon!"_

_"Just shut up!" I yelled. "Just -shut up-, okay?! I hate life, I hate it, and your rants can't change that despite what you think because you can't -change- people! From the way you've been speaking you're dead, and some people are down to earth enough to know not to believe in ghosts! So just leave me alone!" I yelled. _

_               Then a memory seemed to be drowning me. I was sitting on a wooden floor with tables bigger than I was all around, drawing pictures. A man in a blue shirt, a girl with dark hair, and what appeared to be me. When I was about three and a half feet tall. I smiled proudly at it, as if it was a work of art. The thought 'Daddy'll be proud of it' echoed in my head. _

_               I looked up. 'Aunt Sakura,' I thought happily. I ran up to her. I was obviously very, very young. I wore shorts and a t-shirt way to big for me. I was even in my sock feet. How young was I? Where had this memory taken place? And who the hell was Aunt Sakura?_

_"Mr. Sir, Raine!" the lady called Aunt Sakura laughed, waving to the older people.  "Hiya!  Hope you didn't mind that I randomly stopped in...Er...randomly..." she dropped to her knees so that she was eye level with me.  "And Mr. Sir Jr!  Hiya, Squall!  If I would have known you were here, I would have brought the girls over...not that you wanna hang out with my icky little girls, right?"_

_I wrinkled my nose. "Ick. Well, for most girls. I don't really mind your little girls. They're nice enough, and they aren't like the little girls who are all... well... -girly-. All they care about are how their hair looks, and what clothes they wear, and geeze, I just leave my hair as it is and wear the first thing in my closet!"_

_"I know, little girls like that make me mad too," Sakura grinned.  "That's why I taught my little girls to play video games, hehe..." she stood up.  "So, anyways, Raine..." she trailed off, talking to them instead._

_I ran over to them. 'Can't wait till daddy sees this.' I thought brightly as I handed my picture to him. _

_               He looked at it with interest, and then grinned at me._

_"Can I keep it?" he asked excitedly._

_"Yep. I made it just for you!" I beamed, hoping with all my heart he liked it. I tried my best for him._

_"I LOVE it!" he exclaimed.  "You know, I think I've got an extra frame around here somewhere...maybe I'll put it up instead of that picture of Kiros and Ward, they're kinda ugly anyways..."_

_I laughed. "Thank you." I grinned and gave him a hug. It seemed that I loved him so much... _

_"Nah, thank you for giving this to me!  Hey Raine--"_

_"Mr. Sir, Raine and I are talking, PLEASE don't interrupt," Aunt Sakura laughed._

_"Raine," he went on anyways, ignoring her.  "Check this out!"_

_"It's great!" grinned Mommy, and then laughed. "Wow, you must have gotten all Uncle Chaos's talent." she smiled sadly. _

_               I remembered once hearing them talk about Uncle Chaos. I never got to meet him, but in Mommy's room all kinds of water paintings with V.L. signed in the corner hung up. Uncle Chaos was, as Mommy called it, 'visiting heaven'. I asked her when he'd be back, and she told me it was bedtime. _

_"Good job." Mommy smiled brightly. _

_"He will be just like Vinny someday..." Aunt Sakura said sadly.  "In any case, that is a nice picture, Squall.  Maybe you can write for Mr. Sir's magazine someday?"_

_"I wanna be just like him someday!" I grinned enthusiastically._

_"Set your standards a little higher," Aunt Sakura laughed._

_"Lucrecia..." Daddy said warningly._

_"Don't you dare use my real name, Mr. Sir..." Aunt Sakura said in the same tone._

_"But my standards -are- high. I wanna be a journalist!" I wasn't quite sure about everything that job included, but it sounded good and if that's what it took to be like Daddy, then that was what I'd do._

_"Journalism is a high standard, dear, just not being the next Mr. Sir," Aunt Sakura laughed._

_"Whatever." I grinned and walked upstairs and sat down on my bed, daydreaming about what life had in store for me._

_               It had nothing I would be pleased to find. If only I had known. I looked at the woman; she looked like the woman, Aunt Sakura. She had to be. _

_"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Sakura!" I exclaimed, panicked. "I didn't mean it! Please tell me about my parents! You know, Raine and Mr. Sir or whatever! Please!"_

_I had never felt this way before. I tried to describe the emotion: desperate? Maybe a little lonely, regretful even?_

_"I don't think, at this point, that you deserve to hear about them," she said icily.  "And when I think you do, and then I'll come back.  Or I'll send someone else to tell you about your past that has the power to do that kind of thing.  But until then, you can just figure it out for yourself, Squall.  Prove to me you're worthy of knowing it...I'll either be back or send someone.  Keep your eyes open."_

_               She turned and walked into the darkness. I ran after her frantically, feeling more alone than ever. Alone. Alone, like I always was. Suddenly I didn't want to be alone. Not any more. I had a past. I had parents. I had a life before this, and I wanted it back. _

_"Don't leave me alone!" I yelled. Suddenly I was falling into darkness, drowning in it, the darkness smoothing me........_

               I awoke as I made contact with the floor. Ouch. I couldn't sleep after that. Besides, it was a free day and I could do whatever I pleased. And I preferred training to being lazy. I played the memory in my mind over again. It had to be rubbish. That couldn't have happened. Right? I pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans, the first clean outfit I could get my hands on. I brushed my hair out of my face with my fingers. On the way down the hall I cursed in frustration. I obviously hadn't changed since I was young. If that part was real, then the whole memory...

               My plans had been to go straight to the training center, beat the snot out of the monsters to relieve some stress, and stay there all day. But I decided to take a little detour through the computer lab. I heard the thud of my combat boots against the floor as I made my way down the hall and went into the lab. I chose a seat and opened up a search system. This was a military school, so it had a program made to run searches on marriage, birth, and death records.

               I had never wanted to or thought of looking for my parents. But now.... now I even knew one's name. Raine. I typed in 'Leonhart' first. Thousands of pieces of data had collected over the years. I groaned. Thousands of names to examine, so my bytes of data to trawl through it would take forever. I backspaced and typed in 'Raine Leonhart'. This time it was very slow in finding a match. That must mean there were a lot less.

"Leonhart!"

               I nearly jumped out of my skin, freaked out. We weren't supposed to use these for personal reasons. I quickly ex-ed out of the program and opened SeeD schedules. I turned around, smiling somewhat sarcastically. It was all I could muster.

"Yessir?" I asked Mr. Biggs, the computer lab instructor. 

"What are you doing in here?" he scowled.

"Just checking when our SeeD tests were." I nodded towards the screen.

"Okay then... Get out." the grumpy instructor ordered.

"Fine."

               I walked off, on my way out muttering something under my breath including his name and several words I won't repeat. I was on my way to the training center. I had nothing better to do, I thought, the dream still on my mind.


	2. Chapter 2

_(A/n: Xifa and I wrote this, so go review her stories. Unless you already have. Then review mine, please Um, don't own nuffin that Xifa and I use in this whole story cept the idea and all….) _

_Chapter 2                                                                                                                                                      _

I closed my eyes, concentration wracking my body. I couldn't win; I just wasn't strong enough. The stronger I was, the more I could get accomplished. The more I got accomplished, and I could go solo as a mercenary.

              I remembered my dead dream to be a journalist. That was long gone. I was only talented in fighting and playing music. So I would settle for fighting for money... But I still wasn't strong enough... I'd have to train harder.Much harder_. _Until I got a new gunblade, I'd have to settle for practicing my limit breaks.__

"Hiya Squall!" Selphie Tilmitt ran up to me.

             Joy to the world. I scowled. Why did she have to interrupt me? I realized another girl was there. But I ignored that fact. Why would she be any different than all the others? I remembered my dream and chills crackled up my spine. They looked like that smart-aleck woman in my dream. Sakura, I think.

"Squall, I want you to meet my identical twin sister," Great_. **TWO** _Selphies_._ That's all I needed.  "Ayane Tilmitt. Ayane, this is my friend Squall Leonheart! "

Wait, Selphie's friend? I looked at her.

"Nothing in the world pleases me more than meeting you."  I said, making my voice as sarcastic as possible. I didn't want to even deal with this girl. I could only imagine her being like Selphie.

 "It's a pleasure as well." to my great surprise, she copied my sarcasm completely. Okay, so maybe she -wasn't- just like Selphie. Good. Well, somewhat.

"Okay! Well, see ya around, Squall! C'mon, Ayane!" The girl followed Selphie silently. They were as different as day and night.

              I fought the monsters in the training center, but didn't really pay attention. No one was different. I couldn't focus, which very much picked me off. I prided myself in being able to focus well, especially in battle. Of course, of course she couldn't be different. Why would she be? She was just another wanna-be who refuses to be who they really are.

              Was this really who I was though? Or is this what I do to keep from getting hurt? If I despised people for not being themselves, then why did I act so different from my true self? Why did denying it make it so much easier? How could being alone help? Did I really wanna be alone forever? That might've been miserable. Would opening up be more miserable? Well, the rude smart-aleck had me thinking about it at least...

              Ayane Tilmitt reappeared in the training center. Whew. No hyper-happy Selphie tagging along. Heh. Look who's back. She looked at me, and I glared back and looked away. I tried to ignore her and continued on with my training. I couldn't help but watch as she drew and cast magic on the nearest monster. She's gonna be exactly the same... but that was no surprise. Why would she be any different at all? So why should I bother checking? What's the point? But...

              ...Why not? What could it hurt? I mean, the worst that could happen is her being the same as everyone else. Right...? It was worth a shot... I had nothing to loose at that point, so I decided for just a few minutes, I would melt the ice in my personality and be normal. Just this once. I walked over to her.

"Nice gunblade."

              I managed not to make my voice cold. Don't ask me how, because I was feeling colder than ever. What was it with this Ayane girl...? She made my insides freeze, but part of me, an annoying, constantly nagging part of me was laughing and saying that I had a different kind of cold feeling going on. And the memories teasing me so often burst to the surface. I pushed them away. This was no time to get nostalgic.

"It could be better, but thanks anyway. Yours is better."

              O--kay, what shifted in her universe? Were my ears deceiving me, or did miss sarcasm just compliment me? Instead of voicing that thought, I shrugged. The memories bubbling to the surface ceased. I wished I hadn't pushed them away. I had made the wrong choice again.

"Thanks, but not by much."

She shrugged, too. "Every little bit helps." What? Geeze, it's Selphie all over again!!! And I thought Ayane was Selphie's evil opposite.... but then again, at that point I didn't really know -what- to think.

"S'pose so... So... what's up?" Was it just me, or did I sound the biggest DORK ever?

"Nothing much, yourself?"

"Not a lot..."

              I was confused, because by now, most people would be either laughing at my awkwardness and or taunting me. I couldn't stand not knowing what to say. Talking was not my style, and naturally, in a word, I sucked at it. But Ayane wasn't laughing, wasn't reacting as most people would. Well, then... she wasn't like most people then. A tiny ray of hope bloomed inside. 

"Well, I'll see ya around, I guess, Ayane." 

              Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I smiled sincerely.  But it wasn't all that bad, actually talking to someone without sarcasm. Maybe Sakura had been right. And maybe I should do it more often. Maybe it would help... just a little.

              But I didn't need them. I didn't need anybody! They'd just let me down... I didn't think I could handle that again... not again. I felt, in my past, even if I couldn't remember it, betrayed. Betrayed and lost. I didn't want to open that wound again. 

"See ya around." she nodded.

              I left, ready to go back to training. If I was ever gonna get strong I was going to have to practice. But.... what was I thinking, letting my defense down? Why was I taking the chance? Was it really worth it? Had I found someone different? Possibly, if I was lucky, I might have found a friend.  It's not that I **need** a friend... it would just be nice to have someone to hang out with. 

              Later that day I was in the library, reading my weapons monthly and trying my best to blend in with the wall. Not an easy thing to do, but I tried to do it quite often. At over 6 feet tall, I towered above a lot of people, and it was kind of hard to blend in. I heard the instructor talking.

"You alrighty Zell?"

Zell was the freak that was obsessed with hot dogs, wasn't he? Great. I hoped he didn't see me.

"Nooooo! On top of my exam today, man.....this day just sucks. So I was looking for someone to practice fighting with since I got my exams today and all... And I see Selphie." So you turned and ran the other way? That's what I would've done. "So I ask Selphie if she'll practice with me and she says okay.  And it turned out she stole Squall's old gunblade" say -what-? Fat chance. "And man.... Selphie must've leveled up."

              Ayane. She looked like Selphie and she had a gunblade. A nice one, at that. So why didn't she beat down Zell while she had the chance? I was losing interest fast. Zell was only begging for Quistis to help him cheat. I looked at my watch. Woah. Was it already that late? I ran out of the library. I knew if I was late for my test, I'd have hell to pay.

              When I arrived, Selphie and Ayane were standing side by side. You couldn't tell them apart, because a miracle had fallen upon the world and Selphie had no flip-do, both looked extremely nervous, and they were in school uniforms. I did my best to act calm and indifferent, trying to convince myself I was gonna do fine and I didn't look like a complete moron.

"Hi Squall." Happy-Hyper-Selphie, of course.

"Yo."

"You nervous?"

Is the sky BLUE? Of course I'm nervous! DUH. But am I actually gonna admit it?

"No." I replied. Everyone had an ego to protect, thank you very much.

              Ayane glared at me. Sorry your highness. She stared back at the floor. Okay. I couldn't believe I thought we'd be able to be friends. Yeah right. No can do. I didn't need her.  I didn't need anybody. Whatever. 

"Wow. You're lucky.... I sure am."

I can't blame her. Who isn't?

"Good luck, both of you." I dunno what made me say that. I didn't really like either of them.

"Thank you." they both said. At once. Okay.... had that been rehearsed?

              Then we were assigned to teams.... I prayed for a team of people who didn't know me, or at least had the sense not to speak to me. But Lady Luck has despised me since birth and..... no other than Zell the hot dog dude marched up to me. Evil-Selphie (Ayane) trailed quietly behind him.

"Well, at least I got put on a good team !"

              Great... CRIPES. I would've preferred to work alone, but it wasn't my choice. I shoved my hands in my pockets. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't strong enough yet... I ignored the panic.  I had learned to set aside any emotions, because emotions effected judgment, and that wasn't good when you were a SeeD...      

"Man, Selphie, say something to make me not nervous."

              That was Zell. How dumb did they get? This was Ayane, not Selphie, number one it's just plain obvious, number two she wasn't pestering anyone. To my amazement, and great amusement, she clapped her hands and put on a sarcastic grin. How often did you see that?

"Everyhting'll go great." Zell couldn't seriously believe this is Selphie...

"Oh... you're not not-Selphie, aren't you?"

THE NOT SELPHIE?!

"..."

              I couldn't understand why she wasn't beating him down with her gunblade. I was sorely tempted to do so myself. Zell, she had a name... at least learn to use it. I could tell this guy was gonna get on my nerves. We all remained silent until we arrived. I tried not to think. Thinking would make me more nervous, and that would make me fight badly.

              I wanted so bad to become a good SeeD... I wanted to get out of Garden, more likely, but to do that I had to move up through the ranks, get enough money to get me by for a few years, figure out where to go from there. What -would- I do once I was out of Garden...? Well, that was thinking to far ahead. My current goal had to be achieved first.

"Alright Squall, what next?"

              Zell... If I wanted to tell you something, I'd tell you when I was ready. I've given anything to be back at Balamb... But what was waiting for me there? Another meaningless day? Nothing had an essence there... it was all empty, with empty corridors with empty soldiers like me. But mostly empty of meaning.

"Just wait for orders, alright?" I muttered. I wished everyone would just shut up...

Ayane looked up at the Dollet Communication Tower. What was she staring at...?

"There's a monster up there."

"Where?"

Ayane pointed. "It's annihilating people... they need help." 

Well, what were we waiting for?

"But that's not part of our orders...."

              So what? If you followed every little command, then what was the point? Those were **people. **Humans like he was. Could he not imagine being the one up there, getting hurt? Does it not matter to you they could lose their lives while we sit here and chat?

"Well, tough luck. It's your choice to sit down and watch-" which I've done to many times to be comfortable because of stupid orders- "or go and fight-" which I plan on doing-" Ayane, Zell."

              It was their choice; if they didn't, it would weigh on their conscious forever. I should know. Nothing would stop me from saving those people from the pain they'd have had to endure... _Nothing_ was gonna stop me. If they thought orders will restrain me, they're sorely mistaken! They thought -wrong-. I wiped my face blank of emotions and began to run off. I heard Zell's fading statement, and it made my temper rise in my throat.

"I just don't wanna fail."

              The test outweighed innocent lives in your opinion, huh? And people thought **-I-** was cold. That was just wrong... When I glanced over my shoulder, Ayane and Zell were following me. Well, at least they cared... a little, I guess. I was sorta glad, I s'pose. I scowled. Why did either of them matter in the slightest to me? I would never have to see them again after this, right? Then I could go back to standing behind my shield. Going back to being alone... I grimaced. For some reason, I was dreading being alone again. Why? It was the only way not to get hurt. People only made life harder on me. So why try and be around them?

"We await your next order!"

              Please... I wished he'd cut the 'you're-the-leader' talk. Besides, this was a test. I was paid to be a mercenary, so I'm not gonna baby-sit. If you couldn't figure thing out yourself, you didn't deserve to be in Garden. You couldn't be a simple minded pacifist, cause fighting and war was for people who thought on their feet, outside the box. Sometimes I didn't know which life I'd rather lead.

"If a fight comes up act on impulse. That's my only advice."

              Cause I wasn't gonna watch their backs. They weren't my responsibility. But time was wasting. The hourglass was running low. We had no time to spare if we wanted to save those people. We, one of my least favorite words. But who cares if I lose points? There's always next year... right? Yeah, but there was no guarantee you'd live till next year. Still... there are times to back off and times to fight. Now it is time to fight.

              I ran up to the Dollet Communication Tower... A girl with dark hair was trying to fight off the monster, an Elenoyle. She had on a light blue tank top and a white skirt. Faint memories stirred again... I clenched my fists in frustration. I didn't have time for my memories now, and later I wouldn't have access to them. I sighed and pulled my gunblade out. Time to see how much I'd improved.

"Squall...?" the girl asked, staring at me, dumbfounded.

              I had to ignore her for the moment... My whole attention was focused on my limit break. Hit after hit and still the Elenoyle didn't come down. I couldn't even tell what Ayane and Zell were doing... I was too focused. It attacked me and I was hesitant to heal myself. I didn't want to leave my limit break... then I didn't think there would be a chance for -any- of us. It was way to strong....

              I winced and the stream of attacks finally stopped. I fell to my knees. The girl cast cure on herself, then on me. I was up again, relentlessly hitting the Elenoyle... I was getting tired. Wasn't my constant barrage enough to bring it down? This was no regular Elenoyle. In a flash of blinding light the girl -and- the Elenoyle were gone. I sighed in relief. Not even bothering to speak to Ayane or Zell, I started back to the base.

              Test results weren't the only thing on my mind as we arrived. Who -was- that girl? And how did she know me? I hardly heard any other of the SeeD wanna-be's as I leaned against the wall, my face blank. No one cared what my emotions were, so why show them? Besides... I was too lost in thought.... Lost in the thought of memories of the past I never had.

"I hope I passed!" only Selphie Tilmitt could sound so excited and optimistic... 

"You're not the only one."

"Me too." I blurted out, and scowled.

              It was none of their business if I cared about passing or not. I was prolly gonna fail after that stunt I pulled... but it was worth it. That girl's life was important; it was also the little matter of the fact she stirs a part of my past in my mind.

              Here came Cid... I stood up a little straighter. For once in my life, I wanted to do something and I actually cared about how good I did. If I failed, it would leave a serious dent in my ego. But most of all, I cared about passing to prove to people I can make something of myself. Because plenty of people saw me as a non-existent nobody. I felt an urge to prove them wrong.

"Could I see..." -Please, please call my name! - "Seifer"- great, my worst enemy made it, if I failed, he would never let me live it down- "Raijin, Squall" -yes! - "Selphie Zell, and Ayane?"

Don't ask me how Zell passed. He wasn't too terribly awful, but he wasn't great either. But hey, I was far from great, so... yeah...

"Congratulations, all of you. You've just passed your SeeD exam."

              Thank God....I heard Raijin whoop, saw Selphie grin... For once, I was happy for them. I realized Ayane had made no reaction at all. Did this not matter to her at all...? Whatever. Girls were impossible to understand anyways...

              I looked at my paper, not really listening to a word Cid was saying. But I did pick up inauguration party. The last thing I needed was a party... I sighed with relief. That was close. I passed by only ONE POINT. To close for comfort. I might as well've failed with the points I got... And a party... great. I was prolly gonna happen to be 'sick'. In the future, looking back on it, I wondered what would have happened if things had gone the other way. I didn't wanna find out, cause then everything would be just the way I wanted it.


	3. Chapter 3

(a/n: Xifa and Sefie's story. Peh.)

Chapter 3

              Not long after, I was in my room, trying to ignore the growing, throbbing headache. Guess I wouldn't really have to act sick. I felt it already. I started to write, and then trashed that paper. I couldn't write in a song what was on my mind.

              How could people stand to murder someone of their own free will? I could hardly take killing people now... and never to tell anyone? It would kill me. It eats the people alive inside out... It left a scar in my heart every time I realized I killed someone. It hurt even worse when I thought about their families when they got the news... I had probably ruined people's lives. I'm a murderer... An outcast.

               I heard a knock on the door. Joy.

"Hey, what kind of SeeD are you anyway? Fearless in the face of death but scared of a party?"

I am **not **scared!

I turned the page of my notebook, picking up my black gel-ink pen.

"I'm not scared. I have a headache." and that was the honest to God truth.

I didn't even look up from my notebook. Why bother? It was just a kid, thinking they were actually gonna get me to that idiotic party. As if. I then recognized the voice as Xu's.

"Look, I know you're not into the whole party thing"- well, no joke, Xu. -" But it's Cid's orders"- I AM SO SICK OF ORDERS!!! - "Just live with it for once, okay?"

Not okay. At all. At this point I was so tired of being ordered around... All I wanted was freedom.                                      

From the Garden... From the weight placed on my shoulders...

From the memories, or the absence of them.

"Why?" Please just give up, Xu...

"Because it's my job" -to make my night miserable? Well, you ain't doin' bad. - "To make sure everyone shows up, and if you don't come to this it comes out of my paycheck!" -Ohhh, tough luck. Sorry, you're gonna lose a couple of bucks. - "It's not that awful anyway. We won't" -can't- "Force you to dance" -no joke! - "Or anything. Just show up and stand there for all I care, I just need you to show up ;"

"Whatever."

"Squall please; it won't be horrible, I promise."

              Damn, Xu.... How can you promise that? Rule number two, (number one is never let anyone anywhere near your heart) never make a promise you can't keep. I remember... A girl promising that everything would be okay, and then I wound up here. I never saw her again. I dunno. Maybe it's a crazy dream. I wouldn't doubt it. But still... it seemed so real... 

"Oh, yeah. Like I trust anyone's promise. But fine, I'll be there in a few minutes."

Why in the world did I just say that? Well, anyway, it would take me a minute to finish this song...

"Right now; I don't trust you."

Doesn't surprise me at all. Ask anyone. Why would anyone trust me? I'm so untrusting myself, they all assume I'm not worth trusting.

"Then we're equal." I wanted to make it perfectly clear I didn't trust her either.

"Then just hurry up! Just because you don't enjoy parties doesn't mean I don't ."

Just because you like being surrounded by obnoxious jerks doesn't mean I do. Ever think of that, Xu?

"Oh, fine. Be there in a sec." I changed into my SeeD uniform (which I looked awful in ;)

"Thank you very much! . Cid thanks you to. Now c'mon. It won't be that bad."

What are his and her thanks to me? Will that regain my memories of the past? I don't think so. Will that change things? Absolutely not. So why should I care?

"Whatever."

              It was all I could force myself to say. I was so close to turning back into my room and slamming the door... People drive me nuts most of the time. Ayane should. But for some reason, not so much... not anymore.

"Geeze... lighten up for once. You're always so serious. It worries me."

              It's not your job to worry about me. Some one has to be serious, or the whole world would be in utter chaos... Right? And if no one else was willing to, I was. Not that I wanted the job. It's the way I am. That's just... I dunno... Me. But why me? Why do I lay so much on my own shoulders? Is that just me too?

              I don't know myself. I've never been willing to find out about myself, or listen to my heart... Or allow myself to feel emotions for anyone or anything. I was like a closed book, even to myself. I was afraid of what I'd find if I dug into my past and tried to get to know myself... I was afraid of finding I was really as cold as I acted. Why did that scare me?

"Well, you can worry for a little longer." I pushed everything I was feeling and thinking to the back of my mind.

"Hmm... How come you always act like that?"

Many reasons I chose never to reveal to anyone. Ever... And many reasons that had never truly become clear to even myself.

"...It's not important." Why do you care?

"... You're always so... what's the word? Cold? Bitter?... Are you just like that or do you have a reason to be?"

Please... Just leave me alone. Spare us both this conversation. I scowled at her.                                                                                    

"Well, I'll let your friends probe you about your past."

"Two problems. Number one, what past? I can hardly remember my past before coming here. Problem number two, what friends? Like I'm gonna share all my past and memories with everyone, none of whom I trust." As if.

"Well, if you don't have any friends, just talk to Selphie. Speaking of her, have you met her evil twin?..."

She is not evil. Why don't you take the time to get to know her? Then she won't seem so evil. Heh...  Maybe. Don't judge someone before you know who they truly are.

"Ayane? Yeah, why?

"She kinda scares me .But at the same time, I pity her."

Why does pity overrule people's lives?

"Why is everyone so pity-obsessed?"

If I ever attempted to have friends I would want them to be friends for who I am. Not because they pity me... but that's not gonna happen.

"Because we have feelings and instead of being selfish and thinking only of ourselves, we worry about other people."

"That's what so called ' friends ' are. People who pity you."

Xu shook her head. "Someday you'll find someone you really care about, and then you'll understand."

Sure. Whatever.

"No one cares about me. I don't care about them. Life's simplest and best rule."

And it's loneliest.

She sighed. Please, don't try to change my mind. Just leave me alone... I don't need an escort to the party.

"I seriously hope someday someone'll see past your cold side and decide they like you."

I won't let anyone see past my 'cold side'.

"So you're wishing torture on me."

"Just think about it for once! Wouldn't you like having someone to care? Don't answer that question!" Thank you for sparing me that. "Have fun Squall."

You gave me a lot to think about, Xu. "... You too."

I am going to try to open up. Just this once... Maybe.

Zell walked up. "Congratz on passing! ."

"Thanks. You too, Zell."... And I'm sorry I was so rude to you on the mission.

"Hehe... wonder when our first job is? I'm PSYCHED!" He grinned.

I didn't reply. I was thinking to hard about what Xu had said. And for once, I was beginning to think she was right.

"Well, I'm gonna go find......." If I'm right, my guess is Quistis. ".. Someone. See ya around!"

"See ya."

              I was starting to let my mind wander back to being alone again. I was still ticked at Xu for making me put down the song. The dance could've waited for five minutes. And I still couldn't believe I had nearly failed my SeeD test. I stood against the wall, observing everyone and everything. And thinking about what Xu had said.

              I heard Ayane and Selphie arguing; I had a feeling one of them was gonna decapitate the other one, and I had a good idea which was the more.... violent ....one. Oh well. Their problem, not mine. Selphie ran up to me. Yeah, I was pretty rude to her too, wasn't I? I should apologize. And I will. Eventually.

"I, um, need a favor." Uh-oh. See fished around in her pocket and pulled out 2 gil, 1 potion, 1 remedy, a crystal, and a pulseammo. "A really big favor..."

No. Oh no. I may have resolved to lighten up, but I ain't gonna do this.

"Before I accept, what is it?"

"I just ticked off my sister. Would you dance with her?"

"...No. I don't dance. Sorry Selphie."

"Please?"

"Selphie ; ." Believe me... I was no happy camper. This was way too big of a favor. She sighed.

"Never mind, then.... I'll just find someone else..."

              For some reason beyond my fathoming, it bothered me to picture Ayane dancing with anyone, like Seifer, that kinda thing. Why? It's not like I give a rip... right? That's it. Just keep telling yourself she doesn't matter. Keep lying to yourself, I suppose. I would because she wasn't quite as evil as I thought, not because she asked me too.

Was I crazy to be arguing with myself?

"Remember this if I ever need help, Selphie." I forced a scowl and walked off towards Ayane.

"Thank you Squall, I owe you eternally!" I heard her say happily.

              You owed me nothing, Selphie... I saw Ayane. No joke you ticked her, Selphie! Geeze, what did you do to her?! For some reason I didn't like seeing her upset. Don't even ask why, cause its way beyond me. I felt real concern. I'm sure it was showing on my face. For once I didn't even try to mask my emotions.

"Something wrong?" Is that not the dumbest question I've ever asked in all of history?

"No, not really."

That's not true. I know it's not. I wanted to help, and... For one night, I'm putting down my defenses. Just this once.

"I won't press."

              But I was still worried. You don't show it, but you even seem upset. I've seen enough of your personality to tell that you're not an emotional person. I don't want you to be upset. Why though? Why should I care? I'd probably never see her again apart from missions, and we may never even get a mission together. I think we have a hope of a true friendship... If only you, too, would put down your wall of ice. Just this once. Please, Ayane?

"Thanks..."

"... I'm sorry I was so rude to you before." For once I mean my apology sincerely.

"It's okay." But it's still not right.

"... Alright." But I still feel bad about treating you like that.

              Maybe... this party wasn't gonna be so bad after all. Possibly... Xu's right. Having friends might not be such a horrible idea. But why would Ayane wanna be my friend? What's the point in even trying? I saw her stare out the window. To my surprise, it crossed my mind that she was actually kind of pretty. Why did I think that? And also, why did I think Ayane was pretty when I still think Selphie isn't even a second glance type person? They looked nearly identical. In any case, it's beyond me.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"... Why do you care?"

I bit my lip and felt my face grow hot.

"You just looked really down, and I wanted to see if I could help."

              She smiled, which caught me off guard. I hadn't seen her smile until now, in complete contrast to her sister, who never frowned.  She had such a pretty smile... This proved to me... she was different. I remembered thinking just earlier that night that she was the same as everyone else... Boy was I wrong.

"Thanks, then..."

              Wasn't expecting that, but I appreciated it. I smiled, and it felt odd to smile without any sarcasm.  Maybe Sakura was right... I hated to admit defeat to her, but I would deal if she was the key to my past. A slow song came on... and so what was the point in hesitating?

"Wanna dance?" Was I gonna regret this?

"Um, okay."

              ... She accepted? I thought she loathed me... well, I wasn't complaining... Why did I feel this way? I couldn't like her. I hardly knew her! Besides, being a SeeD would only get in the way... right? How could I prevent this? I'd always had a knack for ignoring my emotions. What was happening to that now, when I need it most? I didn't want to finally make a friend, and then lose her to my line of work. This job isn't meant for socializing. I won't. But... geeze, I didn't know how to stop this!

               It would hurt... Then I'd close up to everybody, this time I'd hide deeper inside myself, and maybe never come back out again, unreachable. I didn't understand why I didn't want that, because it'd protect me from getting hurt, but I didn't... Things hurt so much but life is so much more enjoyable if you're not cold. This was a lose-lose battle... So what should I do?

              I'll... just go where this path takes me. Why worry about the future? What lies behind you and what lies before you are small matters compared to what lies inside you. The best way to live life is day by day. And this day has turned out pretty good. I'll worry about tomorrow when I get there.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Ayane = )"

"Se ya around, Squall..."

              I grinned, walked off, looked back, and waved. Tonight hadn't been so bad after all. I felt truly happy. I missed feeling like this. Memories danced out of reach once again, but I didn't even bother to try to remember. Futile hope, I knew, because the memories are always there, but I can never call on them. I just couldn't believe I danced with someone... I'm sure I sucked . Ah well. Not like it would happen again anyways. Selphie ran up to me, handing me all the stuff.

"Here! Thanks, Squall, I owe ya!"

No you don't.

"No thanks." I gave it back. I enjoyed tonight, and that's enough for me.

"Woah... you sure?"

"Yup = )"

"Um, okay then. If you're sure."

"Mm hm ."

"Why are you smiling like that?... I've never seen you smile like that... come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen you smile...."

"I had a good night, that's all." what's so hard to believe about that...?

Xu laughed. Why didn't I see that one coming .

"Aren't you glad I made you come?"

"Shut up, Xu." But to my surprise, nothing could shoot down my good humor.  It was rare I was in such a good mood, but when I was, I stayed that way.

"Shutting up now ."

"......My sister didn't scare you away?"

"No. Why would she?"

"She's kinda scary, that's all. ."

"Heh." Not really... not at all. "See ya round."

              I'd finally made up my mind. I wasn't going to close up completely, but tomorrow I'd close up halfway. There was no way I was gonna be like I was tonight. I was just asking for hurt. I shook my head and set off for my dorm, definitely in the mood to write music. Ayane had inspired me more than she could have known.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

              I closed my eyes, concentration fading from the music half written in front of me... What now? What could I write next? When I had a concentration lapse, then the whole song went down the tubes, and I couldn't afford to let this one suck. No way. This was too important to me. No wonder I lost any form of concentration. Selphie ran up to me.

"Hey! I'm glad I found you! Headmaster Cid wants to see you!"

"Alright."

              What did I do this time?  It wasn't me! I swear it wasn't me! When I arrived, Cid nodded at me. What the heck did he want...?! I was nervous, as I always was when I was needed in the office. Well, in any case, he needed to get it over with...

"Glad to see you. We already have a job line up for you." Woah, my first mission... How many SeeDs get dispatched this early? "You and your team are to... assassinate the Sorceress Edea of Galbadia." HOLY SHIT!  "Though she acts as ambassador, she's actually out for destruction. I've appointed you leader of your team. Any questions?"

What the hell was going on?! A brand new SeeD on a huge assassination mission...?!

"No, sir."

"I've already spoken with your 5 other party members; they are waiting at the garden gates. You'll take a train to Galbadia... The sorceress should be at Deling City. Good luck, Squall."

"Thank you, sir."

              My first SeeD mission. I thought I'd be so psyched about it... What's changed since then? I'd been waiting for this for a long time. Why didn't I feel excited...? The only thing I was experiencing was a queasy, sinking feeling.

              Nervous, panicked, unhappy, hesitant. I always had those feelings. But they seemed that day to be amplified by a thousand. Everyone else was waiting at the gate. Selphie, Quistis, Zell, Raijin, and Ayane. Not my choice party, but then again, it _wasn't_ my choice. Whatever.

"Guess what, Squall! We get to ride the underwater train to Galbadia! My first job... I'm so excited!" Selphie exclaimed.

              She had a reason to be excited. I thought I'd be, too. Maybe it's because... Ayane? Possibly? Was the emotion I felt towards her the reason at fault for all of these strange, alien feelings? Was my attempt to open up and finally admitting that I found what I considered a friend what did that to me?

"Mm hm." I nodded absently, already forgetting what she said. 'Mm hm', 'yeah', and 'you've got a point' were usually responses that worked in all cases.

"Um, well you're the leader, so are you ready to go? ."

              Honestly? No. I had a bad, bad feeling about this. I also hate being a leader. But... I had no choice. If I had to do this I would. A huge, ominous feeling washed over me suddenly. Something terribly bad was gonna happen... but what? And could I prevent it?

"...Yeah."

              Can't anyone else sense it, too? Maybe I'm just paranoid... Once one some one was griping at me and told me I had a severe case of paranoia. Ah well. I did not come to Balamb of my own free will, and I -really- did not come there to be analyzed.

"Hehe!" Typical Selphie, "Let's go then!"

              ... I guess... Let's just get on with it. I followed behind everyone else. Once we assassinated the sorceress, we'd have to pick right up on a new mission, so why bother lingering on the task at hand? We boarded the train, and Selphie seemed ecstatic.

"Wow! This is great!"

              How could I fight this off...? I couldn't deny this...  I'd changed. I didn't know who I was anymore. What was my purpose here? Why was I so different? Was I just another one of the SeeDs? One in a thousand... so how could I make a difference? I didn't understand. What had changed me? How? Why? Would I change again? For better of for worse? I never expected to be quite such an effective weapon... and now I had to live with it. The lives I'd taken...

              For a minute I placed my head in my hands. Damn. Damn it! I had been so stupid to put my defenses down! Look where it got me?! It got me in a state of despair with no return. I couldn't turn back now; it was far too late. I regretted opening up then.

"So how exactly do we plan to kill this sorceress?" Ayane looked to me for the answer.

              I'll be killing, something that I'm so accustomed to doing I don't think twice or even flinch about it... I hated that. I needed to drop out of Garden. Let the old wound heal. Move on. Maybe then things would be better. But where would I go...? Back to the plan, in any case...

"Okay. My idea is to back attack her. Use a sniper of sorts. If that fails, strategic attack. That's all I'm sure of so far."

              ... But there'd be more. There had to be. It's up to me to think up a surefire way to kill her first shot so she won't get a chance to retaliate. To hurt us. They were depending on me to come up with something fool-proof and safe. I never have let my emotions get in the way. I wouldn't now. I couldn't afford to. Not with so many lives on the line. Ayane nodded.

"Sounds like it'd work. So what exactly am I supposed to do?"

Haven't I said I haven't gotten that far yet?

"I haven't planned that yet... I'm working on it..."

"Alright then."

              I couldn't believe it... was I scared of doing this? Real SeeDs weren't scared... But I'd had plenty reason. I had seen so many people get killed.... That was just one of the pros and cons that come with being a SeeD. I'd have to see it every day, so why should it bother me? I thought I was done with killing. I doubt if I can bring myself to kill a person... not again. My feelings have gotten stronger. So strong... that I can't just put them aside any more. I wish I could go back to the way I was.

              But that will probably never happen.... I needed to grow up : ( Only foolish little children are afraid of blood. The blood being shed shouldn't have bothered me... should've it? It didn't matter if it should or not... did it?... Maybe... I did need someone. A friend to talk to. Anything to make things a little easier, just a little more tolerable. We pulled into Deling City.

"We're here." Zell announced.

Nah, I never woulda guessed it. Good observation captain obvious. Here goes nothing...

"I await your orders, Captain Squall!" Selphie laughed, saluting me. Augh.

"Squall. Just Squall. And if my calculations are correct, she'll be passing the gate... in about 25 minutes.  One team, what I'm thinking, will slam both sides of the gate on her. She'll be trapped. And one of us will have a sniper rifle. We shoot, she's down." Hopefully, if all goes as planned. "If that doesn't work" let's pray it does, or this will be a last ditch effort... "Then we'll go on all out offensive with two healers and two attackers. The gate team'll be our backup. Sound good to you guys?"

"Yep ."... Wait... Where's Ayane? "So who's on what team?"

"I... let's see... Selphie and Raijin I think would be a good gate team, the rest of us backup team, waiting in case the sniper doesn't work. Whaddya think?"

"Okay by me."

"Yep."

"Alrighty."

"Okay."

"But who's gonna be the sniper?"

"Not me, I just couldn't do somethin' like that."

"Hey, I fight with my fists, not guns."

"No way."

"Sorry, Squall. I don't think I could do it."

So I'm stuck.

"Fine. I guess I'll do it."

My stomach churned. It all came down to killing again, didn't it? Killing and death. Maybe I needed death. It was the only way to escape this hell.

"Okay, so are we ready then .?"

"Alright." Where did Ayane go...? I knew something bad was gonna happen...! I knew it!

"Okay, good luck everyone!"

"Guys, have you seen Ayane...?"

Selphie looked around and stomped her foot.

"What an idjit! . She's left again." again? She's snuck off before? "Ugh, wonder what she's tryin' to pull off this time."

"What do you mean 'this time'?"

If she got hurt, it'd be my fault. I was leader of this team. I should have kept a closer eye on everyone.

"Ayane's always trying to give everyone an advantage. She leaves the group and accomplishes something" oh no... I don't think any one of us alone can defeat her, unless she really, really trained extremely hard. "but it normally only takes her 10 minutes..." but it's taken her to long, which means she's probably in trouble."I bet she's trying to cast slow or silence on the sorceress to help us out, but if she isn't back yet then something must've went wrong... She does this all the time, that's why I said 'this time'."

Damn it...! Ayane... why couldn't you just stay put...? I dunno what I'll do if you're not okay...

"Alright. Let's split up. I'll meet Quistis and Zell at the gate as backup in 15 minutes, okay?"

"Okay... good luck... where ya goin' anyways?"

"To look for Ayane. If someone's missing and Edea's around, there's plenty to cause worry."

"; It's her fault for ditching us" Zell frowned. That was not the point. Besides, she was only trying to help, "But whatever you say. Meet you guys in 15 minutes, but if you don't show up, I'll assume you're in trouble and me and Quistis are gonna come save you. Hurry up! ;"

"Alright. See ya."

              I hurried to find Ayane, hoping not to be to late... If I was... No, I wouldn't think about that. I arrived just in time to see Ayane cry out and fall to the floor. Fury burned inside me. Edea was gonna pay for that one. No one hurts -my- friends and gets away with it...!

"Who's going to save you now, hm?"

            I am!!!  I attacked Edea from behind, only hoping the element of surprise would give me an advantage. Otherwise I didn't stand a chance. I plunged my gunblade at her, angry at her for hurting Ayane... She was gonna pay... Edea .......Matron.

            What? Matron? Everything those days seemed to bring up a name, a face, a memory. But they always came at the most inconvenient times. And who was Matron? Did Edea know Matron? And what happened to Matron? How did I know her? Those questions could wait, though... I fought Edea fiercely.

"This is not our final battle." she announced. Was she that easily beaten? I assumed that Ayane had taken down most of her health already. I was impressed. Mental note to self: congratulate her later.

"Ayane!" I curaga-ed her frantically, worried.

"Who... wait, Squall?"

"Are you okay?" Why did I care so much? I quickly cast cura on her.

"Stop healing me, you're wasting your spells...."

They're not wasted as long as they're doing you good....

"No, I'm not."

She stood up. I almost reached out to steady her, but stopped myself.

"I probably just messed up the whole thing... I was stupid, I'm sorry..."

"No, no, don't be. You weren't stupid, Ayane. That was a good idea. She's just too strong, that's all."

"I don't know what made me think I could pull that off..."

"Don't worry about it. And she'll have to pass under the gate to escape. So everything's gonna be okay. This even helps. She's weaker than usual now. See? It'll be fine."

"...How'd you find me? Was coming up here to fight her part of the plan, and I just got lucky or..."

"I noticed you were gone, and from there Selphie guessed you had tried to stop or silence her, and I came after you."

"...you shouldn't have..."

Why not?

"But you were in trouble." that's reason enough for me.

"So? Coming after me could've messed up the mission. It wouldn't have been worth it."

People outweigh missions. Haven't I already showed you that...?

"You're more important than some plan. We're a team, remember?" and we're friends... right? "A team sticks up for each other."

"...let's finish this job then..."

"I said something to make you mad, didn't I?" I'm sorry! Shit, why did I always say the wrong things?!

"I don't get mad." you just get really, REALLY cold, eh? Whatever....

"...Ayane, I'm sorry. You're the only person I consider a friend. I dunno what I said, but I'm sorry." I really am.

"Let's just get this mission over with, okay?" she sighed, and walked off.

              I know I made her mad, and I wish I could take whatever I said wrong back, but she shouldn't have turned into a walking talking ice cube! It wasn't all my fault, and she implied her cold manner to everything. I truly was sorry, though. I regretted making her mad.

She stopped. "Thanks, Squall."

              I nodded. Why couldn't she just trust me...? I decided just to give up. What was the point? It was obvious she'd never see a thing in me, and even if she did, she'd never place her trust in someone like me. I'm to cold. I'm too different. How could I blame her? I admitted it, even to myself. I... liked her. That's just the way it went. My luck was always so terrible... I finally find someone to like, and she didn't like me...

               She was right... we should just get the mission over with. We hurried to the gate, ready to fight Edea. I figured climbing to the top and attacking from there would be our best bet, seeing as from up there, it would be harder for her to counter.

             I ran up there, the party following me. We fought and fought... but from up there we weren't getting much accomplished. I jumped down, level with Edea, and plunged my gunblade into her. She gasped angrily but healed herself. Still, I knew we were nearing the end of the battle. That was a good thing, because I think we were all getting weak.

"This is it, SeeDs. I will no longer tolerate this nonsense."

              A huge dagger of ice formed in her hand, and she hurled it at us. I tried to summon Carbuncle quickly before it reached us.... C'mon!  Hurry, Carbuncle, or--... I wasn't fast enough. I cursed under my breath as the ice dagger pierced my shoulder, and I grimaced, cursing, pain overwhelming, as I felt it come out the back of my shoulder. The force knocked me backwards, and before I knew what was happening, I was falling....

"SQUALL!" it was Ayane's voice. I saw her reach for me, but she was to far away. My mind blurred, and I submited myself to darkness.


End file.
